Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
