yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
