I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
