This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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