I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
