Only a mothe r could love this liver
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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