The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Non-Jews are for practice
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
