She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
