Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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