Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
