God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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