we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
