I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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