i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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