She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
