You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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