farters have to be the big spoon...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
