Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
