i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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