"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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