My liver just broke up with me...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
