I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
