Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
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