Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
