I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
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