I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
