your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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