Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
