have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
