Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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