I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
