i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
