I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
