Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
youre lurking in front of me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
