I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Randomize
