the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
