so explain again why im purple
no
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
