Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
