North Korea, Best Korea!
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize