All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
