This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
