So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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