I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
