We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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