Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
