Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
