If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
