I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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