4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
