I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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