If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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