I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Four minutes until I can fart!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
As shirtless as possible
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
